It doesn’t matter if it’s black or white at a funeral
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- Created on Monday, 29 August 2011 09:33
- Last Updated on Wednesday, 28 November 2012 18:00
- Written by Luo Wangshu, China Daily
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I attended an elderly American's funeral with my Japanese friend Taro Yamada in late 2008. He died peacefully in his 90s. His funeral was held in a church in Philadelphia.
It was a severe winter and there was lots of snow. We had a discussion about how to dress the night before the funeral.
"How would you dress in your country?" I asked.
"Mostly in white," Taro said.
"Oh, we do the same." I said.
Taro and I ended up going to the funeral in white. It fitted the weather and occasion, we thought. But it turned out everybody stared at us, as we stood in the group of mourners wearing black.
Taro started to bow to everybody and murmured: "Sorry, I am sorry".Fortunately, I did not go with a smile. Funerals for those who have lived to a ripe old age and passed away peacefully, in my hometown, Southwest China, are considered to be happy occasions.
There is a Chinese word, xi sang, literally "happy funeral".Xi sang used to be a popular rural tradition in some parts of China. People of longevity, who have done good deeds in their lives and suffered no diseases, are considered to have lived a full life. Their funerals are often followed by a family banquet.
Recently, when I was sitting in a cafe with my friend Wen Guo, in my hometown of Chongqing. He told me about his grandmother, who just passed away at the age of 104.
The cheerful funeral was arranged according to local tradition.I was invited to attend. There were more than 100 people in a big hall in the city's funeral parlor. There were at least three or four funerals in the parlor's various halls.
I walked into Grandma Guo's hall. Her body was lying in the middle of the room. People bowed to her and then turned to chat, drink tea and even play poker and mahjong.
The hall was basically divided into two sections - funeral and party. Grandma Guo was lying in a casket, made of well-polished cypress wood, in the funeral section. She was surrounded by bouquets and flowers. She looked full of peace, as if she was in a deep sleep. I detected what I thought was a smile on her face. I was very touched by the respectful atmosphere.
However, when I turned to the other side, the atmosphere was totally different. The party side was filled with laughter, the noisy sound from mahjong games and so on. I felt like it was an adult Disney World."Hey, are you able to play mahjong, we lack one." A lady in her 40s asked me. "Oh, come on and join us."
I am not good at it, but I didn't know anyone except Wen and he was busy. I did not want to sit there gazing at Grandma Guo blankly, so I joined the game.
"How do you know Grandma Guo?" I asked.
"Oh, she used to be my husband's primary school teacher. He is busy today and I came for him," the lady said. "Are you sure that you want to play that piece?"
"I'm not good at playing mahjong. By the way, I didn't know that Granny Guo used to be a teacher? Which school did she teach at?"
"Guo? Oh, no. This is Chen's funeral. You might be in the wrong place. No worries, let's finish this round."
In the end, we found that the lady had come to the wrong funeral. She should have been in the room next door. But it didn't stop her playing mahjong all night with Granny Guo's erstwhile family and friends.
I think what could work is new tournaments styled as 'invitational', where tournament organisers invite the top players (perhaps within the top 100 or so players in the European ranking) for a tournament that has a small field (perhaps 40 to 60 as Adrie had suggested).
At the very least, there is a certain level of difficulty that competitors might relish. True, as noluck as suggested, a paradoxical situation where randomness may favour winners where all players are equally skilled, but even so, the better and worse players will be separated over several sessions. So, the more sessions, the better!
But what is needed is a commitment to have as many players from different countries as possible, to still promote the elements of friendly play. Having lower costs would help attract players put off by expensive tournaments.
Personally I really enjoyed winning the Danish Open, but I enjoyed even more the people I met during the tournament that shared the same passion as I do - mahjong.
So for me it is important that the social aspect takes precedes the paid few. And as already written, why can't we have both? It is a challenge to find the balance between top quality venue and location, and price per individual. Perhaps sometimes the quality of the venue will have to be a bit less, so that the total individual cost of each player doesn't get out of hand.
If yes, it's a pitty...
Oliv'
More over I fear that (even if) only the very best players would meet, this might even increase the luck factor - sounds paradoxical? Let's try to illustrate it this way: In a more heterogeneous table better player should most of the times have an advantage to get a waiting hand before the less skilled manage, so they have more chances to get the last missing tile. If all play perfect and get to wait very early, then it's sheer luck, who's tile will show up first... so we would need even more games to balance out the luck than in a more 'mixed' player field. (on the other hand the influence of drawing a lucky lot would decrease - anyway, I think the other factor prevails)
Regarding sponsors: Why should any company be interested to give money for such a small event? Mah-Jongg is not widely known and the main reason for a sponsor (from outside the limited field of MJ suppliers etc.) would be visibility in an international surrounding - this needs a critical mass. I don't think any German company would give some thousand Euros just to be nice and enable German players to travel to an OEMC with about 50 more folks from abroad. (I also don't think that any TV station would send a team to such a small event - usually size _does_ matter in these settings...)
The members of the national associations should take care then? Even in a bigger association of 300 members this would mean 10 Euros for each of them - only to send the chosen four of the country to the OEMC... and only for MCR! I don't think they will like this idea. And thinking on a "mid-sized" organisation as here in Germany it would really be impossible to stem the sum from the members' contributions...
It is important to try making the OEMC cheaper - but to my mind a smaller competition is not the solution, because it makes the competition less interesting for the outside world. The impact on the quality of the competition is admittedly questionable and would need further analysis.
And definitely the Mah-Jongg community would loose a great happening - whatever we may think about cost and quality and championship in itself: An OEMC is a splendid opportunity to meet and play and talk and celebrate Mah-Jongg! This alone would be a reason for me to plead for a large OEMC/WMC! Smaller events we have enough...
this column by the editor.